What does my church family mean to me, and why is it worthy of my support?

by Dr. Anne Barlow

CHRISTOPHER LAKE (Saskatchewan) -

The following talk was given in December 2009, as part of a Stewardship Program that happened at the Christopher Lake Parish.

Most of us have been made more keenly aware of family over the past week – some because we have spent our Christmas celebrating our Saviour’s birth with our family, and some because we were not able to do so. I would hazard a guess that those who were able to spend the holidays with family probably had more fun, especially if there are young children in the family. Who is more fun to buy presents for than a child? And who doesn’t smile to see a child tear into that present with great joy? The children who aren’t old enough yet to know what presents are seem to be the centre of attention, as even the littlest child wants to see and hold the baby. It was a special Christmas this year with Rozelyn, and she was the recipient of a lot of gifts, and a lot of love from the relatives. Good thing that it’s impossible to spoil a baby!

I would say that our nuclear families are a collection of people who by blood, by marriage, and by friendship are brought together by God. In a similar way, I see our church family as a collection of people who mostly by community and friendship are also brought together by God. And both families can bring a lot of joy, and a lot of frustrations and comfort as we navigate through the circumstances of life together. A distinction between a church family and a nuclear family I should mention, however, is that members of a church family have been charged to grow the family. The family isn’t supposed to be static, and we’re supposed to do our part in finding new members and helping them to graft themselves into the church. I don’t need to find myself another aunt or a new cousin, but I do have to help to bring new Christians to Christ.

It has been a joy to me to become a member of St. Christopher’s Church and to get to know each of you here as part of my church family. I’ve been able to share the things in life that bring great happiness, the sorrows, shared visions or projects, and the tribulations in life with you. Now as a parent it has been a joy to myself and my husband to have our daughter, Rozelyn, so warmly welcomed by both kinds of family and I look forward to sharing with you in her baptism, and also in your help to nurture her in the faith as she grows to find her place in the community.

When I think of why St. Christopher’s is worthy of my support, I have to think again of my role in the family of the church. In every family, there are people who are family builders, and there are people who aren’t quite so inclined. The family builders are the ones who put together shared events so that the family can celebrate together. They are the people who buy and cook the meal, who share their home, who try to bring joy to family events. They want to share, they want to nurture, they want to see the family grow in harmony and not become simply a collection of people who distantly know one another. I want to be that kind of person in my family. They favourite aunt, the nice cousin, the type of person who gives “in-law” a good name. There are other people who seem to want to partake in family, but only from a distance. Their contribution is to show up at family functions, although begrudgingly. They find fault in the menu, they find the children annoying. They want to build divisions and not bridges. I don’t want to be that person. In the end, they deprive themselves of joy and blame that on the relatives. Of course, there is the spectrum of attitudes in between, but no matter what end you’re on, you’re still a part of the family. What proportion of each end your family is made up of, however, seems to be the difference between functional and dysfunctional.

I had little idea of the cost and work involved in the day-to-day operation of a church until I became more involved in it. Similarly, I had little idea of what it took to put on a family function until I organized my wedding. Like a family, most of the work in a church is done by volunteers and the giving all comes from within. If no one steps up to the plate to do things for the family, then not a lot of stuff goes on. So the question then comes that if I’m not willing to count myself in the giving part, both of my time and financially, then who do I expect to do that for me? It seems that in both types of families, those contributions are disproportionate, in that a small number of people seem to take on more of the burden, and thank God for those people. But that doesn’t remove me from the personal responsibility. I have to take on at least my fair share of that. And so I give, although knowingly not enough.

In the New Testament of the Bible, we are shown how the early church functioned on the contributions of the members. What they contributed was proportionate to their earnings, and no one was rewarded for how much they gave, yet some were punished for their dishonesty and unfaithfulness in their giving. When I was younger, I used to give to the church with the attitude that I would pay for what I took – in hindsight, I think my contribution covered my portion of the electricity bill and the cost of a cup of coffee and a bulletin. In doing so, I was relying on God to take my few loaves and fishes and turn it into a feast for 5000, while I pocketed the rest. Now that I have had the opportunity to learn the realities of giving, I see that God has put the money and the talents into my hands to get things done, and the difficulty is getting the money out of my pocket and me off my butt. A right attitude to stewardship is something that I continue to struggle with because the temptation for me is to give sparingly. It’s not easy to sign up on a volunteer sheet and make a serious commitment of my time, because I enjoy my leisure, nor to part with the percent of my income that I know is appropriate, because I look at that money and see instead what I want. But I know what is right, and I want to work at it with God’s help.

As I’m getting older, I’m seeing how critical the presence of family is in my life. Perhaps it is in becoming a parent that I see now how much family really means, and how easy it is to take it for granted. I can also see, as a parent, that my child sees what I do and it affects how she will eventually act and see the world. Already she’s mimicking my facial expression, and soon she’ll start to mimic my behaviour. If I want her to get to know Christ not only in a book, but in the actions of those around her, I have to be part of the difference that I want her to see. And I want her to grow up in a Christian community where that behaviour is normal. I need to learn to give as well as to take, to encourage as well as to be encouraged, and to be in a right relationship with God and those he has chosen to put into my life, because that’s what is right and it’s what I want her to do. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of this family and for all that you do to make this family function. May God bless us with attitudes to make our family grow and flourish. Amen.